Twenty–One Mississippi
This certain little bugger, emerging a mere couple of weeks ago, certainly made us reconsider our ways: everyday chores and habits we thought well established and proper, are now under close scrutiny — by ourselves, our fellows, and even authorities.
Among the abundance of information happily peddled during the past week, one revelation made me literally bang my head against the (thoroughly disinfected) wall. Adults need to be explained the benefits of washing their hands with soap? Oh, boy …
I usually try to keep the level of readability below high school level. Today, owing to the trivial topic, I shall try harder and aim at primary school level, even. This should help reach certain politicians, apparently still living in caves, and their mindless following.
Personal Hygiene How–To, Conservative Politician and Mindless Follower Edition
The human body is like a sovereign country. This country has a huge wall all around it. We call this wall “skin”. The skin is protecting the body from a good deal of evil invaders and sometimes quite harmless foreign matter.
But it also has openings we cannot seal and guard at all times (even though it were quite desirable in some cases). The body would die of lack of water, food, or air. It would also poison itself, because it couldn’t get rid of bad, stinky matter it produces.
Most of the foreigners are not bad at all. Some are even necessary to help us keep the body healthy. Yet we call all of them “germs”. We usually do not bother to tell them apart. That’s good for some of them but bad for us.
People easily confuse proper ways to address individual infections. They take the wrong measures to cure themselves. They offer others silly advice, happily multiplied by “Doctor Google”, with the best of intentions. And even real doctors sometimes give sick people the wrong treatment because of this. That’s really bad. The evil invaders need no friends with enemies like them — and other stubborn ignorants.
Telling people to wash their hands with soap more often is good advice. There is no evil intention behind it. It is no liberal conspiracy (when two or more people plan to do something bad) to try and sell more soap, or something. Because it really doesn’t matter which soap you use.
Soap is not a brand or particular product, but a berry. Most “soaps” contain almost the same parts in a mixture, whether they come in bars or as a fluid in a bottle. Be they transparent or coloured, whether they smell like nothing or strawberries. It doesn’t matter. You can (and should) use them. Yeah, right, but how?
Well, first of all, don’t lick or even eat them. This would clean certain parts of your body all right, but I have no hope for your speeches.
Instead, rinse your hands. Take some soap and rub it all over your wet hands for at least twenty seconds. If you are a smart kid, you don’t use a dispenser, because its surface is likely to carry more germs than most other items around. It belongs on the short list of most infested everyday items, along with your mobile phone and your belt buckle.
Twenty seconds or longer (if you scrub thoroughly) is important, because you want to get the cleaning agents (the stuff your soap is made of) everywhere (palms, back, between your fingers, and under your nails). The more places you scrub, the more germs you will kill.
What happens then? Like the soap, germs are made of a number of substances (stuff); mostly protein and fat, covering the stuff that makes you sick. Like germs, soaps do react with all matters they touch. Germs use the fat in their coat to protect themselves and to cling to surfaces. Soap reacts to water and to fat, clinging to the first and absorbing the latter.
This breaks the germs’ coats; they dry out and crack. They cannot cling to surfaces anymore. Therefore, broken parts and the pathogen (the stuff that makes you sick) can be rinsed off. Your hands (or any other surfaces) are squeaky clean again.
Don’t use bleach or substances that contain “at least 60 % of alcohol” (as is often advised across the internet) regularly. It dries out your skin and so makes it more vulnerable to germs. If you have to, see to remoisturise your hands with lotion after you washed them. But make sure to thoroughly clean both your soap dispenser and the container of your conditioner while you clean your hands (rather than afterwards), or you will sooner or later contaminate the conditioner — and keep the bloody lid closed in the meantime.
Based on seven readability formulas, the relevant parts of this text are “fairly easy to read” for those eleven to thirteen years old. That should suffice to get also to most reactionaries — or so I shall hope.